I was on the floor. I had just found my cell and the banging at my door continued. The last thing I wanted to do was deal with some fool who probably wanted to either complain about something or try and sell me something. Either way, I sat up but didn’t get off the floor. The banging stopped for a moment then started again, accompanied with a low voice asking me to open up. The voice was so low I couldn’t really tell if it was male or female, but I got that funny feeling on the back of my neck that always told me when something just wasn’t right. I stayed where I was. The banging continued for another couple of minutes before suddenly stopping. I listened and could hear soft footsteps moving down the hall away from my door. Letting out a breath I hadn’t known I was holding, I leaned back against the stove. I didn’t know what was up but I knew I didn’t want any part of it. Was this all because I had a fantasy life with Tara as the leading lady? I couldn’t imagine that would be a problem, but who knew? And who was that man in her apartment? I cringed thinking about how he had slapped her. I wondered if I should have called the cops about it. That would have only gotten me into more than I wanted to be into. They would want to know why I was watching her apartment. They would ask all kinds of questions. What if they found my notes on the life I had created for Tara? They wouldn’t understand it. Hell, sometimes I didn’t understand it.
Logically, I knew that I needed a real life. I knew I needed to associate with real people in real situations. But knowing you SHOULD and actually DOING it are two very different things. Ok, I will admit it. I am not a lady’s man, by any stretch. I weigh too much. I am what some people call pudgy. I don’t know that I would agree, but I admit I could lose a few pounds. Yes, I know I have a few problems with social behavior. I tend to blame that part on Danny Kerts from high school. He started bullying me and pestering me on the very first day of freshman year and didn’t let up for the entire four years. I was never a fighter, and he was twice my size and all muscle. He seemed to enjoy pushing me around and punching me when no one important was looking. It came to the point where I missed more school than I attended in the last year because his abuse was getting more and more physical and I was more and more afraid for my own skin. So, through high school, I didn’t participate in any of those normal things like extra curricular activities, dances or football games. I knew if I showed up, Danny would find me and things would get ugly. So I blame all that lack of learning to interact with other kids on him. Seems only logical to me.
So here I was, sitting on the floor of my kitchen, afraid to open the door to whoever that had been. I was almost afraid to sit in the chair next to the window across from Tara’s apartment. What if whoever banged on my door was that man and he KNEW I had seen more than I should and he was coming after me? Maybe my imagination was taking over, but I wasn’t sure.
Slowly, I pulled myself to my feet and turned off the television which sent my apartment into total darkness. That way I could go to the window without being seen. I guess I just had to see if things were ok over there.
I moved to the chair and sat down as carefully as I could. I took a deep breath and turned to the window. There sat Tara in front of her vanity coming out her hair. I admit I was shocked. I didn’t expect to see her there. I had been afraid she wouldn’t be there. I watched as a slow satisfied smile crept across her face. She stood, walked to the window and looked toward mine. With that same smile, she lifted her hand and send a small wave my way. Oh crap!! I was found out.