Knowing that Tara had seen me and possibly knew I had been watching her rattled me a lot more than I would have expected. I backed away from the window even though Tara no longer looked my way. She was out of view and, I was guessing, changing clothes. I stood across my dark apartment against the wall opposite the window. I could still see into her window but she wouldn’t be able to tell if anyone was here and looking her way. After a couple of minutes, she moved back into view and bent to look into her vanity mirror. She ran a hand over her hair that was now loose, stood and took a deep breath. I could see the breath fill her lungs. That was a sight no red blooded man could forget. She let that breath out very slowly, grabbed her bag from the vanity top and left the room. The light went out and she was gone. I was completely confused.
As had become my habit where Tara was concerned, I picked up my notebook and completely out of my habit, I lowered the blinds on my window before turning on the table lamp. I sat down to make notes of the evening’s happenings.
Tara had been dressed very formal. That man had come to her door. He was dressed in a very nice suit. Side note: he seemed familiar somehow. She and the man had been arguing. That man slapped her. He touched her arms in a personal way but then put his hand to her throat. The blinds closed and all was quiet. Then the blinds were open, the man was gone, and the topper? Tara had waved his way. Now, she was dressed more casually, seeming in perfectly calm and normal humor, and she had left her apartment. What was going on? I just knew there was a terrible mystery here. I also knew that I would, likely, never know the answers to the mystery.
I put down the notebook, turned off the table lamp and opened the window blinds once again. I sank into the chair by the window and pondered Tara and her life. I suppose I must have fallen asleep very quickly because I didn’t remember many of those thoughts and I opened my eyes to see Tara’s light was on again. I glanced over at my alarm clock to see the lighted LED numbers reading 12:46. I heard a man’s voice. I looked over at Tara’s window to see a large man standing with his back to the window. He was dressed in blue jeans only. No shirt. Tara walked past him dressed in only a flimsy long nightgown. I admit it, I had seen Tara in her night clothes many times. I did say she never closed her blinds, so it had to be expected. But I had never seen her dressed in anything flimsy or overly sexy like this. But then, I had never seen a man at her apartment at any time until the man in the suit earlier, and now THIS man. They were not the same man. What was my Tara doing? This behavior was not following my assessment of her and her life and it made me feel uncomfortable. I reached over and lowered my blinds. I couldn’t watch her debase herself. There had to be something wrong now. The Tara I knew would not sleep around and she would not have such a low opinion of herself. I sat back in the dark and tried to think of what I should do about this.