I Think of You and I Wonder

I think of you each morning when I wake. I wonder what you would be doing, were you here. I think of you as I begin my day. I wonder how you would spend your day. I think of you as I prepare my breakfast. I think of you as I chop my eggs into tiny pieces. You did that for me when I was small. I wonder if you would remember doing so.
I think of you as I get dressed. I wonder what you would think of the fashions as they have changed over the years. I wonder if you would be into fashion. I wonder what are your favorite colors. I wonder if you would prefer heels or flats. I wonder what sort of purse you would carry. I wonder if you would wear perfume. I wonder what scent it would be. I wonder if you would dress up each time you left the house or would you be comfortable and casual.
I think of you as I go through the day. I wonder what you would think of the changes in our world. I wonder what you would think of who we have become. I wonder what you would think of our country and our leaders. I wonder if you would give it thought or if you would simply live your life and hope for the best. I wonder if you would have always been a stay at home Mom or would you have, at some point, had a job.
I think of you as I eat my lunch. I wonder what sort of snacks you would enjoy. I wonder if you would prefer sandwiches. I wonder what would be your favorite type. I wonder if you would still prepare food from scratch or would you have given in to frozen food or pre-packaged.
I think of you as my afternoon moves into evening. I wonder if you would spend time out of doors or would you prefer the quiet of your home. I wonder if you would have a garden and I wonder if you would plant vegetables. I wonder if you would have a pet and what it would be.
I think of you as I prepare supper. I wonder what you would prepare. I wonder if you would still make home-made noodles. I wonder if you would prepare ham and beans and cornbread with fried potatoes. I wonder if there would be sliced tomatoes on the table. I wonder if you would put a plate of bread on the table as you once did. I wonder what your preferred drink would be. I wonder if you would drink iced tea. I wonder if you would still drink coffee. I wonder if you would still cook for all of us. I wonder if our Sundays would be spent with you over a big dinner.
I think of you in the evening as I watch television. I wonder what you would think of television now. I wonder what your choices would be. I wonder if you would still watch soap operas-or your shows, as you always called them.
I think of you as I prepare for bed. I wonder if you would sleep well each night. I wonder if your mind would be calm and I wonder if you would be content. I wonder if you would mind that I called each evening to check on you and to be certain you were alright.
I think of you as I fall asleep. I wonder what you would think of me and the life I have led. I wonder if you would be proud. I wonder if you would understand.
I think of you when I look at my own grandchildren. I wonder at the relationship you would have shared with them. I wonder at the abundance of love you would have shown.
Most of all, I wonder what life would have been had you not been taken from us so long ago. I wonder if we would have felt more secure and confident to follow our dreams and talents. I wonder what we would have accomplished. I never, however, wonder if you would have loved us. I think of you and I think of how loved I felt. I think of you and I remember the security and the promise.
I wonder if I have passed that sense of love and belonging to my own children. I think of you, my dear mother, and I wonder…..

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Stuff From My Head. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s