Real is Unreal

Tomorrow I have a book signing at a Barnes and Noble store.  

I have had book signings before this, but they were local and I knew most of the wonderful people who came.  But this one is not local.  This one makes my hands shake.  This one makes my insecurities peek over the edge.

Writing is to put your inner soul and your heart right out there.  Many times, what you have written stays in the drawer. When most of the people who bought my book were friends and family,  I was reassured and my confidence was greatly boosted.  My words, my efforts were out there for others to see and read and evaluate.  This time, that is all changed.

Tomorrow, I will be in a venue where I know almost no one.  I will have my book out there for total strangers to look at and purchase, or smile that polite smile that says “Isn’t that cute.” and then walk away.  That is fine. But once strangers buy my work, my heart and soul are out there for the masses to know…to evaluate…and to walk on, if they see fit.

My work is no longer my own at that point.  These characters and this concept become a part of that outside world instead of a safe and secure escape for me.   THAT is why my hands shake.

I wanted this.  I have strived for this my entire life.  I have had this goal in my mind and in my heart for as long as I can remember.  I am up for it. I am more than ready to accept all criticisms and critiques. I am more than aware that you can’t please everyone and not everyone will like my work. That’s cool.  I don’t like everything I read either.  I am good with all that.  Let’s face it, I welcome rejection letters.  Why?

When I receive those rejection letters, just as when I receive any constructive criticism of my writing, I do so with the understanding it means I put it out there. I didn’t just write something and throw it in a drawer-never to see the light of day.  I put this out there knowing it could be called any number of things-from brilliant to cool to fun to lame to silly and to really bad.  I get it.

But if I hadn’t put it out there, I could not live with myself.  I would not be true to myself.

So, tomorrow, I will take my box of books and my supply of pens and I will set up at Barnes and Noble and I will HOPE that I have a good reception. I will HOPE that the people like my book as much as I like bringing it to them.

Then-on to the next step.

#letterstosarah

{Book One now available on Amazon,com and can be ordered through your favorite bookseller.   Book Two release-DECEMBER 15}

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