That Rotten Little Rascal On My Shoulder

Me:   I need to go to the pharmacy and pick up a couple of things.

Rascal:  You can walk. It isn’t that far.

Me: Me? Walk? Seriously?

Rascal:  Sure.  It’s only-what-3 or 4 blocks?  Walk.

Me: Yeah, it isn’t very far. I have walked farther.

Rascal: Yes, you have. and it’s a nice day. Look, the sun is shining and it’s not hot today.

Me: True.  That is a nice breeze, isn’t it?  but walk?

Rascal: Oh, just do it. You know you enjoy walking.  Just do it.

Me: I DO enjoy walking. Ok, let’s do it.

{half way there}

Me: You said it wasn’t hot.

Rascal: It isn’t.  It is a lot cooler than it was a couple of weeks ago.,

Me: SURE, it was 120 degrees 2 weeks ago!!  There is no shade on this road!

Rascal:  You are only hot because you walk so fast. Slow down.

Me: I can’t walk slow.  I have tried, you know that.

Rascal: Then don’t complain to me that you are hot and your legs are tired. It’s your own fault.

Me: This walking business was YOUR idea!  And why is it taking so long?

Rascal: Just walk.  You know you like it.

{On the way back}

Me: I hate you.

Rascal: no, you don’t.

Me: It’s hot out here. The sun is in my eyes and it’s all  your fault.

Rascal: That’s right, I tell the sun what to do.  Just walk. It’s only a couple of blocks.

Me: That car didn’t even move over!  I could have died! What made you think this walking was a good idea??

Rascal: ~sigh~ It’s a beautiful day.  It is not terribly hot out and you didn’t have to start your car.

Me: Yes, but if I HAD used my car, I would already be there and back again AND I wouldn’t be about to pass out.

Rascal: You are NOT going to pass out.

Me: LOOK AT ME!  My face is the color of a ripe tomato!  My heart is pounding and my legs are throbbing!!  I. Am. Going. To. Pass. Out.

Rascal:  You are right, you are in terrible shape.  Look, you have a block to go. No big deal. Besides, you saved a screwdriver.

Me: A screwdriver??  The stupid thing was laying in the middle of the road! I picked it up and laid it on that post so no one would drive over it and damage a tire.

Rascal:  SEE??  You saved someone from damaging a tire! You saved them a lot of money all because you decided to walk today!  YOU ARE A HEROIINE!!

Me:  You are an idiot.

Rascal:  Maybe, but you are home now.

Me:  Shut up.

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This entry was posted in Miscellaneous Stuff, Reality, Stuff From My Head and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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